Robin Williams fought the demon of depression
By Ruth Z. Deming | Posted: Sunday, August 17, 2014 12:15 amMillions of Americans were stunned by the death of one of our most beloved performers, Robin Williams, who on Aug. 11 took his own life at his home in Tiburon, California. He was 63.
His suicide death, the most terrible death of all, was particularly painful for those of us in New Directions Support Group, which I founded in 1986 for people and loved ones affected by depression and bipolar disorder.
Many of us in the group, including myself, have faced terrible depressions — a better word is “anguish” — that command us to kill ourselves. It’s like a buzzer going off in your head saying, “Kill yourself! Kill yourself! You’re no good. It’s too painful to live.”
This urge must be resisted until it passes. There is nothing harder in all the world.
Many popular performers suffer or have suffered from depression or bipolar disorder (severe mood swings): Richard Dreyfus, Dick Cavett, Carrie Fisher, Jack Irons of Pearl Jam and Jimi Hendrix. Some, of course, have taken their own lives. Entertainers such as Carrie Fisher made art out of her struggle with bipolar disorder and drugs in her play “Wishful Drinking.”
Robin Williams was in treatment for depression, as well as for alcoholism and substance abuse. Why do people abuse drugs and alcohol when they’re depressed? To help them feel good quickly. Antidepressants may take weeks to work, while the individual is forced to listen to the “lies” his depression is feeding him — lies such as “You’re a loser. Who said you were a good actor, poet, writer, doctor? You stink. The world will be better off without you.”
The world will not be better without you. Robin Williams left three children behind. All that’s left for them are memories of their dad. And a million unanswered questions.
When Tony, in New Directions, took his own life, many of us shared our thoughts with one another.
“How could I have stopped him? When was the last time I spoke with him? Did he seem depressed? Did I detect anything at all in his voice that should have given me a clue that he was about to take his own life?”
And finally, “There must have been something I could have done to save him.” New Directions planted a tree in his memory at Pennypack Trust in Huntingdon Valley.
Did you know there are risk factors for the type of person who dies by suicide? And 100 people do so every single day, according to the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation.
Tony Salvatore of Montgomery County Emergency Service, an expert in suicide prevention, writes that “adult white males, who are ‘baby boomers,’ age 63 and older, with mental health issues” are at the highest risk. Add to that alcohol and drug abusers whose inhibition is lowered, which gives them the false courage to do the deed.
What can be done to prevent suicide? If your loved one is isolating, staying home, not going out, not eating properly, insist on visiting him or her. Ask them, “Are you planning to harm yourself?” By getting the words on the table — “harm yourself” — you are doing them a favor.
Then you must get them immediate help. If a psychiatrist is unavailable, drive the person to the nearest emergency room and insist he or she check into the hospital.
It’s a well-known fact that when people are depressed, they will not immediately hurt themselves. Only when they’re feeling somewhat better will they have the energy to make a suicide attempt.
Then comes the long road to recovery. It can be done with a caring psychiatrist, therapist and healthy lifestyle changes.
Will the death of Robin Williams make it easier for people to accept their own depression? Or will the staying power of “stigma” prevent them from seeking help?
The zany, brilliant award-winning performer who was Robin Williams will long be remembered in movies such as “Good Will Hunting,” “The Fisher King” and the hilarious “Mrs. Doubtfire.” You can bet that people all over the country are watching these superbly acted, life-affirming movies.
Ruth Z Deming, psychotherapist is the founder and director of New Directions Support Group of Abington and Willow Grove. For more information, view their website at NewDirectionsSupport.org or call them at 215-659-2366.
Tony Salvatore, quoted in the above article, wrote me: Your article turned out well. One comment: The courage involved in completing a suicide is real and it doesn't come out of a bottle. What booze does is make it easier to give in to the thoughts that can take to the point that the acquired ability to inflict lethal self-harm takes over.
ReplyDeleteCarly Brown... Just wanted you to know that i felt you handled weaving together the facts of the tragedy of Robin Williams and the members of your support group taking their own lives and how it affects even more than just their loved ones.
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